i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
