Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
