Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
