Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
