Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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