I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
