I just cut my nipple shaving
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize