Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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