I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
