the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
