You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
