Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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