did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
