Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
