No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
