I love black thongs
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
