I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
