Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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