you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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