I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Drunk walkin through police station. America
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
