So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
