She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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