I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
