do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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