just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
