Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
