he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
