At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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