Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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