I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
