it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
