After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize