And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
