Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
