Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
