you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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