There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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