I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
