I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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