I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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