Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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