I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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