You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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