But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
