You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
