If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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