if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
