forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
