My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
