I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
from now on my penis is your penis
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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