That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
