how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize