You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
She bit a glass in half.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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