So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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