im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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