the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
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