i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
