I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
