he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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