Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
