Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize