So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
