So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
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