he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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