Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
ttyl tear gas
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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