hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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