So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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