she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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