She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
