no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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